My Sanity Realization
I, like most mothers have an endless to do list. Usually written on a post it, in my planner or never ending in my head as soon as I take my glasses off and lay my head down for the night... it's like the days credits of random thoughts start scrolling through my brain.
The lists are completely random, from "Do I need an oil change?" to "Did I remember to wear a bra today?" Usually a completely and utterly random list of random thoughts that go through my head.
And also like most moms, I start my day with a complete craptastic and unrealistic expectation of how my day is going to go. Everyday examples include: loads of laundry I will accomplish, a freshly cooked dinner I planned on making and making that adorable Pinterest craft I pinned months ago.
I feel like this constant "to do list" almost keeps me in a constant "anxiety" mode and to be honest? It takes it's toll. I will find myself getting the girls and I ready for a small outing to Hobby Lobby or something unimportant like that and saying things like "We're late girls, let's get it moving!"
Umm...Hobby Lobby is open all day, Andrea. Don't you know that? What causes the sudden urge to make things go faster, I have no clue. Since becoming a stay at home mom, my life's hectic-ness has gone from 0-100 at a rapid pace. I remember the days, mama would come over every morning, I would kiss my baby goodbye, take my to go coffee cup and head to work (5 minutes away) knowing that I would be home for lunch in a few short hours. What a different world that was.
I needed to have one of those incredibly tough, mentally challenging, and let's be honest, truly shitty days to realize that it's ok to not always be in a hurry. You know the days I mean. The days no one Instagrams about. Those days where you yell, scream cry and your kids are on a certain mission to kill you. Then you spill a gallon of milk on the floor and you swear to yourself you won't walk into oncoming traffic.
The lists are completely random, from "Do I need an oil change?" to "Did I remember to wear a bra today?" Usually a completely and utterly random list of random thoughts that go through my head.
And also like most moms, I start my day with a complete craptastic and unrealistic expectation of how my day is going to go. Everyday examples include: loads of laundry I will accomplish, a freshly cooked dinner I planned on making and making that adorable Pinterest craft I pinned months ago.
I feel like this constant "to do list" almost keeps me in a constant "anxiety" mode and to be honest? It takes it's toll. I will find myself getting the girls and I ready for a small outing to Hobby Lobby or something unimportant like that and saying things like "We're late girls, let's get it moving!"
Umm...Hobby Lobby is open all day, Andrea. Don't you know that? What causes the sudden urge to make things go faster, I have no clue. Since becoming a stay at home mom, my life's hectic-ness has gone from 0-100 at a rapid pace. I remember the days, mama would come over every morning, I would kiss my baby goodbye, take my to go coffee cup and head to work (5 minutes away) knowing that I would be home for lunch in a few short hours. What a different world that was.
I needed to have one of those incredibly tough, mentally challenging, and let's be honest, truly shitty days to realize that it's ok to not always be in a hurry. You know the days I mean. The days no one Instagrams about. Those days where you yell, scream cry and your kids are on a certain mission to kill you. Then you spill a gallon of milk on the floor and you swear to yourself you won't walk into oncoming traffic.
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It's ok to not always be in a hurry. Enjoy the small moments of my 2 year old trying to put on a pair of shorts by herself. Or my almost 5 year old deciding on what jewelry to wear that day.
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It's ok if we don't eat lunch at exactly 12:00 everyday. It's ok if the girls don't have a perfectly matched bow in their heads. It's ok if I get no laundry done in an entire week and I send Quinn to bed in a princess dress instead. The constant need to always be in a rush is torture. And the crazy part?
I do it to myself.
The lesson here? Kids are resilient little devils who really don't need to have a "perfect mom". Not a day goes by that I don't hug and smother my girls and tell them how much I love them a million times a day. Even on days when my parenting is on an ultra sucky level. So I need to start appreciating the fact that my kids are happy. They are healthy. They are pretty awesome kids, even with a crazy mother. Slow down, Andrea. Quit rushing through life. Always onto the next thing. Because let's face it. Wrinkles are no joke. And face cream is expensive.
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