Monday, January 4, 2016

You cant pour from an empty cup.

I'm sure by now everyone has seen the video of Jada Pinkert Smith answering the question, "What's the hardest thing about being a wife and mother?" 

If you haven't seen it, here is the video. 

I'm a total and complete Will Smith fan, and I do think they can get a little on the weirdo side with some things they say, but this video really struck a chord with me. 

In a nutshell, Jada emphasizes on how you have to take care of yourself and how balancing motherhood, along with being a wife is one of the most difficult things you can do. 

Can I get an amen from all the moms out there?

Lately I've been feeling... empty. Unfulfilled and just overwhelmingly blah. 

Baby blues? Probably. But that doesn't help the every day struggle of wearing all the hats. Mom, wife, daughter, chauffeur, nurse (more like boo boo fixer), pet taker carer (sleep deprivation guys), friend, room mom, chef. Seriously the list goes on and on. 

Jada went on to explain losing yourself is so easy when you are the last person on your priority list. And then when you become the last person on other's priority list. Well it can pretty much come all tumbling down on you. I think losing yourself is way too easy to do when you stay at home with small kids everyday. I can't even count how many days I silently curse my husband because he gets to leave the house everyday. Sometimes I miss wearing real clothes, talking to adults and you know... peeing whenever I want. But I wouldn't trade the (way too early) mornings, slobbery kisses, and incessant demands for anything. Because right now? I am their favorite person. I am the one they want all the time, the one to do all the things for them. And I know the day will come when that won't be true anymore so I am going to soak it up as much as I can. 

Mom guilt can also get in the way. Why is it that mom guilt is even a thing? I need to do a better job of putting myself first. (As do all the moms out there.) Because the statement "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is real life. I'm naming this year "My Year Without Guilt" for good reason. I'm not going to feel guilty uttering the words "I need a break" as I make a mad dash for a solo Target trip. Or taking the time to enjoy a workout. I've nourished this body with enough goldfish crackers and chicken nugget leftovers.  

I just wish men were smart enough to catch on to these things. I mean I get men are completely wired differently than we are, but does it take a genius to realize that if you have a sleep deprived wife, perhaps sleeping until noon is not the best idea? Is it just me who has one of these? Come on, men. You're better than this!  (Sorry to generalize, but my husband will think I'm talking about him unless I say all men.) *wink

To sum up her point, she emphasized the importance of not putting your happiness in someone else's hands. 

Holy shit. 

That statement really got to me. I am usually a "if my kids are happy, I am happy" kind of girl but it made me think just how much I rely on others for my happiness. And the realization that you are completely responsible for your own happiness is pretty heavy. But so damn true. 

Also, sleep deprivation doesn't help anything. And I know this is a wave I just need to ride out. (But seriously what kind of third child comes out being the worst sleeper you've ever had?!) But true story...



You can't pour from an empty cup. I can't give anyone what I don't have. 

Let's all cut ourselves a little slack this year. 



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